I don't usually arrange sex via text message
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
