I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
