i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Text me some of your sweat
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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