Kiss
Puke
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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