I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
