i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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