she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
