3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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