Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
