We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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