Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
