so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
