Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
