I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
