Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
