My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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