He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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