Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize