What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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