I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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