Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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