just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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