Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
