their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
