Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
