Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize