Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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