I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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