There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
