We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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