I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
