i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize