I would go down on you faster than GM stock
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
