Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just pee around me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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