the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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