i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
