Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
