i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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