ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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