I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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