so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
