You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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