I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
