He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
