a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
