He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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