I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
