I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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