Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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