I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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