come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
