It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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