I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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