he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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