After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
