Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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