god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
