I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
