I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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