I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
