The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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