Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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