Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
