just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
