There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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