I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
