I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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