The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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