we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
