how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
