I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
