She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
